Some people are fans of the Seattle Seahawks. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Seattle Seahawks. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Seattle Seahawks. Your 2016 record: 10-5-1. And that one tie wiped out any goodwill you people got from beating the Patriots in Week 10. Your coach: Serial gum torturer Pete Carroll, who nearly cost this team a draft pick because he violated offseason practice rules, all in the name of COMPETITION. Goddamn, if I have to hear one more story about how the Seahawks want everyone in practice to COMPETE, I will fly an airplane directly into Pete’s head. Maybe if your practices weren’t so competitive, you wouldn’t have players flipping off coaches and the …
Some people are fans of the Washington Redskins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Redskins. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group.
Your team: Washington Redskins.
Your 2013 record: 3-13. As with the Browns, you can simply list everything the Skins did last year and have the list serve as its own form of ridicule. Let's begin: They brought their prize QB back from a catastrophic knee injury too early, mostly because Adidas wanted him to start in Week 1. The team got crushed in its first game against Philly because apparently no one on the coaching staff knew that Chip Kelly liked running plays quickly. They let the hobbled quarterback get killed for 13 weeks—destroying their relationship with him in the process—be…